
Navigating Special Needs Etiquette: No Awkward Stares Allowed
Jan 27
5 min read
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Before Deborah from Variety KC reached out to me, I had almost no experience working with special needs children or families. Then one day, she saw a photo I’d posted on Instagram of kids dressed in magical outfits, and she asked if I’d consider offering something similar for special needs families.
I’ll admit—I was nervous. I didn’t know the “right” questions to ask or how to interact. But what I did know was that her words touched my heart. She talked about the need for these families to have the same opportunities as others. More than that, she wanted them to feel seen, valued, and celebrated.
I jumped at the chance. Not because I was comfortable, but because I wanted to learn. I wanted to show these families how beautiful they are and to share the joy of creating those magical moments.
The first few years were full of learning—some mistakes, lots of growth, and so much heart. These families taught me about resilience, kindness, and unconditional love. I hope I’ve given them even a fraction of the joy they’ve brought to me.
Now, I’m creating a workshop to help other photographers work with special needs families. It’s about understanding their unique needs, adapting to their abilities, and crafting experiences that are as inclusive as they are beautiful. It's still a work in progress but I'm hoping to lauch this workshop this year! Be on the look out :)
Because here’s the truth: we all deserve to feel seen—not just with eyes, but with hearts. Life can be messy and hard or joyful and magical, sometimes all at once. But every single one of us deserves to be accepted just as we are.
And let’s be honest—raising kids comes with a million tiny moments where you find yourself whispering, “What do I do here?” One of those moments might be when your child notices or interacts with a child who has special needs. Kids are naturally curious, which is beautiful, but it can also leave parents fumbling for the right words to explain things gracefully.
This blog is for all of us navigating those moments together. It’s about fostering curiosity, respect, and inclusion. I’ll share tips, some lighthearted stories, and ways we can all step up to make the world a little kinder. Plus, I’ll brag a little about Kansas City because, spoiler alert: it’s doing some incredible things for inclusivity.
Teaching Kids About Special Needs
Kids are curious, observant, and sometimes brutally honest. When they notice someone who looks, communicates, or acts differently, their questions can catch you off guard.
Here’s how to handle those moments without feeling like you’re walking a verbal tightrope:
⚡ Normalize Differences Early
Start the conversation young. Talk about how everyone is unique—whether that’s in what they like, how they look, or how their bodies and minds work. Use books, movies, and everyday moments to show that diversity is cool, not confusing.

💡 Show Kindness in Action
Teach your kids the little things that can make a big difference: a smile, a wave, or just saying hi. These simple gestures are like social glue—they help kids connect, even when words aren’t shared.
For example, if you’re at the park and see a child using a wheelchair, encourage your child to ask if they want to join the game. Or if a classmate communicates with a device, remind your child to be patient and wait for their response.

🌐 Questions Are Okay
When your kid blurts out something like, “Why does that boy talk funny?” (cue your cringe), take a deep breath. Instead of shushing them, say something like, “Great question! Everyone communicates differently. Let’s talk about it quietly.” Keep the conversation open and positive so they feel comfortable asking you questions in the future.
Ways to Normalize and Teach About Special Needs
Let’s dig a little deeper. Here are practical ways to make inclusivity part of your family’s everyday life:
Broaden Their World
Books and Movies: Stories are powerful. Share ones like Variety Tales: Kaden’s Dream or Maddox’s Dream, which highlight kids with disabilities. Other great reads include My Brother Charlie (autism) and All the Way to the Top(disability rights).
Toys: Representation matters here too. Play with dolls or action figures that have hearing aids, wheelchairs, or limb differences. It’s a small but mighty way to normalize diversity.
Encourage Empathy
Role-Playing: Practice real-life scenarios where kindness and inclusion shine. For example, act out inviting someone to play or offering help. It’s fun, and kids learn better when they experience it.

Active Listening: Teach your child the power of patience. Listening to someone who communicates differently can take time, but it shows respect.
Celebrate Friendship
Friendships don’t all look the same—and that’s awesome. Remind your kids that being a good friend can mean being patient, finding shared interests, or just showing up for someone.

Advocate Together
Get involved! Volunteer as a family for inclusive organizations like Special Olympics or Variety KC. Talk about the changes you’d like to see in schools, parks, or playgrounds to make them more accessible.
Kansas City: A Champion for Inclusion
Now, let me gush about my city for a second. Kansas City isn’t just a place; it’s a vibe—a really inclusive one.
🌿 Playgrounds for All
Our inclusive playgrounds are top-notch. They’re designed so every child, regardless of ability, can join the fun. Think wheelchair ramps, sensory-friendly zones, and equipment for all.
🎥 Sensory-Friendly Movie Theaters
Some theaters here offer sensory-friendly screenings with dimmed lights, lower sound, and sensory packs for kids who need a little extra comfort.
🛩 A World-Class Airport
Have you been to the new KCI airport? It’s a game-changer with sensory rooms, quiet spaces, and features that make travel less stressful for everyone.
🌍 Variety KC
And, of course, there’s Variety KC, the heart of it all. Deborah Wiebrecht and her team have done incredible work to make Kansas City a leader in inclusivity. I’ve been lucky to work with them, capturing magical moments for children and families they support.
Let’s teach our kids (and ourselves) to embrace differences, to celebrate the beauty in diversity, and to make the world a kinder place. Support organizations like Variety KC, start conversations, and remember that inclusion starts with us.
Because every child deserves to shine.
Stay amazing!
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